I won't bore you with a long, drawn-out birth story and about how wonderful and magical the birth of our third child was. I know you've heard it all before.

You know those birth stories you hear that just make you want to shun the person? "Oh, my birth was so fast. I was only in labor for a few hours. My water broke right near the end. I only pushed for five minutes. It was over so quickly, and it really didn't hurt that much at all!"

Of course, a birth like this never happens to you. It's always someone else's birth. The births of our first two children were the complete opposite of this. Days of agonizing labor, and hours of pushing! I'm guessing that most of you are in this boat too.

I am thrilled to say that my wife and I (well ok, mostly my wife) finally had one of these births! It went something like this:

She had about 8 hours of definite, but manageable contractions. They became more intense, and she spent about two hours in the bathtub at home, still not in too much discomfort (if she reads this, she'll kill me!). The midwife and labor support person arrived and checked her cervix - when the midwife said she was dilated to 6, I thought she was either drunk or lying to us. With our first two kids, it took days of painful labor to get to 6. After she convinced us that she was telling the truth, and sober, and after my wife stopped crying with pure relief that she was so far along with minimal pain (I really hope she doesn't read this), we packed up and drove to the hospital.

When I said "midwife", I bet you thought we were going for a home birth, huh? Well, we aren't quite THAT brave.

We were only in the hospital for 1.5 hours before my wife began to push. And after only about 5 minutes of pushing, out he came.

Of course, this is MY perspective. I know there was probably some pain, and the last few minutes were probably pure hell, but if you ever meet my wife, I think she'll tell you just about the same story (with a little more pain thrown in perhaps). We (she) finally had one of those wonderful, magical births that only seemed to happen to other people!

A few take-home points:

• Certified midwives are awesome! They are like having an obstetrician, labor nurse, and labor coach all mixed into one. They come to your house, and they help you through the entire labor. Many hospitals and OB offices now have certified midwives on staff. Look around!

• Hire an additional labor support person. I will be the first to admit that I am worthless as a labor support coach. Sure, I went to all the childbirth classes, and I stood by her side the whole time, but ladies, if you want someone to REALLY coach you through labor, hire a professional. They will get to know you through the nine months, and will make a huge difference in your birth. Husbands are good coaches, let's say, for little league baseball; but for labor, we just don't get it. For any dad that is reading this and saying to yourself, "No way! I was a great labor support coach", ask you wife to tell you the truth. Be a lover not a coach. Do what you do best - stand by and support your wife, and hire a labor support coach.