Diary of a Third Time Dad

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WEEK TWENTY-TWO - JULY 2002

The snacker.

Joshua doesn't really eat full meals (or drink them, actually) as often as he used to. He used to think that all there was to life are breasts and sleep. Now he realizes there's a whole world out there and he doesn't want to miss a second. The only time he really gets serious and chows down is his 6 AM buffet, after a long nap, and his bedtime dinner. Most of his other feedings are quick snacks that only last until something around him steals his attention.

So what happened to the textbook-recommended feeding every 2 hours for 30 minutes or more? Well, that's important for a newborn, but by this age he just naturally demands as much as he will need. And he is outgrowing his clothes faster than we can buy them, so we aren't worried about his nutrition.

Many parents voice this same concern to me as their infant gets older. I say after the first few months of age, as long as a baby is thriving, don't worry that the feedings seem to only last half as long as they used to. Don't watch the clock, watch your baby.

Clean up on aisle seven.

Cheryl and I have very different priorities when it comes to cleaning up spit-up. Whenever I'm holding the baby and he spits up, I'll first clean up my arm and my own clothes before wiping off Joshua's face and clothes. After all, it's his mess and he can deal with it for a minute. When Cheryl cleans up, she starts with the baby and only when his face and clothes are completely clean will she move on to herself.

Is this just a difference between her and I, or is this a universal difference between all moms and dads? Are all moms happy to sit drenched in spit-up while they attend to their baby and all dads squeamish about curdled milk dripping down their arm?

Inconsistency.

Joshua's bedtime still isn't consistent - some nights he's down by 8, and some nights he's wide awake and eager to play until 11. So some nights Cheryl and I get a quiet evening alone together, and some nights we both get a few extra hours of fun family playtime with the baby.

I kind of like the inconsistency. If Joshua went to bed early EVERY night, we would all miss out. I wouldn't miss those late-night play sessions for the world. But if he stayed up until midnight EVERY night, Cheryl and I would not get our alone time, which is very important to us. So we kind of leave it up to chance and to Joshua, and get the best of both worlds.

We're really not in any hurry to get him set on a sleeping schedule. It will happen in its own time, like it did with our first two boys.

Cheryl's turn to be funny.

It's always after a long day of taking care of a needy baby that moms will say the cutest things (or not, depending on just how bad their day was). Today was one of those particularly needy days where Joshua refused to fall asleep all day long, and as I walked in the door, Cheryl summed up her day for me in one sentence. "He just WON'T give up. I'm a never-ending bottomless pit of nursing!"

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