Diary of a Third Time Dad

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WEEK 43 - DECEMBER 2002

Who wants a lumpy baby?

So we're out to breakfast with just the baby. There older two kids were in school. We're having a nice time, but then Joshua starts to get a little fussy. Cheryl comments, "Why can't he be one of those lumpy babies that just sits there? Then we could really enjoy our breakfast. It sure would be nice if he was lumpy sometimes."

Sure, lumpy babies are a whole lot easier. They don't interfere with you life much. You get a lot more sleep and a lot more free time to yourself.

But you know, I think I'll stick with our non-lumpy baby. Or is it un-lumpy, or lumpless? I don't know. What is the opposite of lumpy? Whatever a baby who is not lumpy is called, I'll stick with that kind. Ya, our day is more hectic. He has to be carried more and interacted with frequently. We need to talk to him, play with him, smile with him and laugh with him. But I think I would be bored with a lumpy baby.

I know, how about a "lumpy" switch that you can turn on. Maybe on the back of their neck or something. Whenever you want to take a warm bath, or enjoy a nice quiet dinner for two, just hit the lumpy switch and enjoy!

Won't it make you blue eyes brown?

Ack! Where'd his blue eyes go? Today Cheryl show's me Joshua's blue eyes, and they're not blue anymore. They're brown. Now, I have brown eyes, Cheryl has blue, and our two other boys have blue. So I guess I was just getting used to all my kids having blue eyes. Suddenly they're brown. I know I've told all my patients that this can happen, but it's not supposed to happen to MY blue-eyed baby. Oh well, I'm sure he'll still grow up to be just as cute as his daddy.

Cruisin'.

No, not to Alaska again. Just around the living room. He's loving it. I tell all my patients that when the cruising starts, the coffee table has to go. I've sewn up a lot of coffee-table induced forehead and chin cuts in my career. So Joshua's room is padded and ready to go.

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