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Your privacy is a PRIMARY consideration of AskDrSears.com. Your e-mail address is used ONLY by AskDrSears.com for the purpose of announcing news, events and special offers available only AskDrSears.com registered users. WEEK FIVE - MARCH 2002
Mar. 21 - Cheryl's first trip to the store
My wife relayed this story to me, and I had to laugh (although she didn't). She took the baby in the sling to the grocery store. She did all right until she had to bend down and pick up anything heavy, which she couldn't do with the baby in the sling. She had to wait there until someone nice looking came along whom she could ask for help. Naturally, shopping took quite a bit longer this way. I actually had to come and meet her at the store, hand our two older boys off to her, and finish up the shopping (mostly the remaining heavy items) while she took the kids, and hungry baby, home.
Mar. 22 - Grandpa Bill stops by at dinnertime
My dad, Dr. Bill, comes by a couple times a week to see the baby. I think this is his favorite age (hence, eight children). Today he called us up around 5:30 pm and asked if he could stop by. My first thought was that we normally don't have people stop by around dinner time, so I almost said, "No, we're eating dinner soon, and we want peace and quiet." But then I thought to myself, "Wait, it's almost dinner time and we would love to have some peace and quiet." A plan formed in my mind. I told him, "Sure, come on over!"
We had just gotten the food on the table when the doorbell rang. I opened it, welcomed Bill in, handed him the baby, and Cheryl and I, for the first time in a month, actually got to simultaneously sit down and eat dinner together, and actually talk to each other without the baby. Hey dad, stop by anytime you want, preferably around 6:00 pm. Mar. 23 - Whose turn is it to hold him?
When you first have a new baby, everyone is always fighting over who gets to hold him. "It's my turn." "No, it's MY turn."
Now it's a month later, and we're still having this same fight, except it goes a little differently now. "It's YOUR turn to hold the baby." "No, it's YOUR turn!" Cheryl brought the baby into the office so she could get some things done (she is our office manager). I was just finishing up with my patients, and was also planning to get some things done around the office. After a pleasant exchange of words, the baby ended up in MY lap. So I sat there, near the front desk of the office, and just held my baby for a while. And you know what, it was nice. It was much better than paperwork, signing charts, and whatever else I was planning to do. And I got to show off the baby to any parents and patients that wandered by. Sometimes it's important to put everything else aside and just hold your baby. Mar. 24 - So much for sleeping in.
I have always liked to sleep in a bit on the weekends, say until 7:30 or 8 a.m. For me, that's sleeping in. But it seems this isn't going to happen any longer. Little Joshua does his usual squirming and grunting around 7 a.m. now, and once this wakes me up, I'm up. Sure, HE gets to go back to sleep, along with Cheryl. But me? Nope. So I just get up, go to my journal, and start complaining.
But really, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Mar. 25 - Grandpa number two comes to visit
My father-in-law came to visit this week. He is an awesome live-in baby holder. And he even does dishes too. He is much more of the handyman type than I am, so I always have a good size list for him. But it seems that he'd rather just hang out and hold the baby all day so Cheryl can get some things done.
I guess I'll just have to fix the toilet, put up the wallpaper in the bathroom, and all the other things on his list. But hey, I can't blame him. The little guy really is quite cute. People say he looks just like me. Mar. 26 - Can I cut your food for you?
We had a nice dinner out with the baby. We timed it perfectly. He fell asleep right when we got there, and he slept the next two hours in the sling. But have you ever tried cutting your steak with a baby in a sling snuggled up against your chest? My wife didn't even try it. I had to cut her food for her.
Kinda reminded me of when I had to tie her shoes for her during the last month of pregnancy. Mar. 27 - Reading baby's cues.
Most new moms can tell exactly what baby wants depending on what kind of squirm, grunt, cry or fuss they hear. For dads it's a little tougher. But hey, I'm putting a lot of time in with the little guy, and now I really feel that we are communicating. I can now tell whether he is hungry, bored, tired, needs a diaper change, or needs to burp. And if I can't figure it out and meet his needs, off he goes to momma.
What is the key to this for dads? It is TIME. The amount of time you spend just sitting on the couch, holding your baby, looking into his eyes and talking to him is directly proportional to how well you learn to read his cues and be an effective communicator. And the more effectively you communicate, the more content baby will be to have you meet his needs, instead of always relying on momma. This creates a good balance in your family, instead of mom always being overwhelmed. Start this early. If you don't develop this closeness in the first few months, it may be too late. Once baby develops a strong preference for mom, dad may never be able to comfort and meet baby's needs.
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