Here are 10 simple strategies to help dad share the joy of pregnancy:

1. Share the pregnancy. Include your significant other when talking to family and friends about the pregnancy. "We're having a baby" is a better boast than "I'm pregnant" if you want to win over a mate who is feeling left out.

2. Go gradually. Don't overwhelm a less-than-bubbly mate with all the decisions you have to make and the stuff you need to buy. Talk about major decisions and lifestyle changes one issue at a time, and don't do it all within the same conversation. Examine your husband's past history of handling change. If he's the cautious type, respect this trait and give him time to warm up to these big changes.

3. Be positive. Try to find something to be cheerful about even when nausea and fatigue get your body down. Look at yourself. What do you reflect? What kind of pregnant person does your husband see? While some "green" days are a fact of pregnant life, weeks of complaining are bound to put off even the most sympathetic partner. Are you happy to be pregnant? If so, let your mate catch the spirit. It is well known that men are slower to mature in the area of interpersonal relationships, and his behavior may at times feel incredibly unfair to you: you worry about him even when you're feeling sick, but he doesn't seem to care about what you're going through. Take heart! There's nothing that matures a man faster than becoming a father.

4. Make decisions together. Involve your mate in all of the important obstetrical decisions: choosing a healthcare provider, childbirth class, birthplace, and all the decisions about routine (and not so routine) procedures. He loves you and your baby and wants the best for you, and will probably relish the chance to do something concrete to ensure you both get proper care.

5. Go to school together. Attend childbirth classes together. Your mate will be amazed how much there is to learn about the miracle that is taking place under the bulge. Seeing pictures, videos, and getting feedback from veteran dads will open the eyes of even the most reluctant husband. With appreciation of pregnancy and birth usually comes a respect for the mother-to-be and involvement in her care.

6. Do homework together. Help your husband understand why you feel and act the way you do. Study together. Read this book together. He needs to know that those same hormones that make you moody support the growth and development of his future Little Leaguer.

7. Enjoy a photo shoot. You can really get creative and have fun with this. A series of as-you-grow portraits, artfully highlighting your blossoming belly, is a treasure well worth capturing on film. Don't let your pregnancy progress too much farther before finding the perfect piece of maternity lingerie that will both adorn and reveal.

8. Invite hands-on care. Ask for a daily rubdown from your mate- turned-masseur. Show how much you like and need his touch. Make these sessions special with soothing music, soft lighting, and an attractive setting, such as in a room warmed by natural sunlight. Your mate may be ecstatic over what all this extra touch could lead to.

9. Make a date for your next prenatal. When you visit your practitioner, especially on visits that include exciting procedures like hearing baby's heartbeat (usually the third or fourth month) or seeing baby on ultrasound (usually the fifth or sixth month), invite your mate along to share the experience.

10. Share feelings. While you don't want to play amateur psychologist, it's important to share your feelings about the pregnancy. In a non-judgmental, accepting, and caring way, help your husband explore some of the feelings that may be putting a distance between him and the baby or between the two of you. Also, be careful not to let a controlling mate keep you from expressing your feelings. Developing a solid, trusting, comfortable pregnancy dialogue is a good warm-up for the couple talks you will later need when you become a threesome. If this is difficult to do in your marriage, this may be an indication that a professional counselor should guide you through this task.