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1. It wasn't our fault. Hayden fussed because of her temperament, not because of our parenting abilities.

2. Hayden's persistent personality forced us to keep working at a parenting style until we found what worked.

3. When in doubt, listen and respond to her cries. She is trying to tell us something.

4. Our job was to accept Hayden's unique personality, appreciate her special traits and channel them into behavior that would work for her, and for the family. It was not to change her for our own convenience.

5. Hayden was not the standard baby, and standard baby advice wouldn't work. Once we regarded her not as a behavior problem to be fixed but a personality to be nurtured, living with her became easier.

6. We stopped complaining to people who didn't have a child like Hayden. Instead, we looked for support from people who truly understood our child and our parenting style.

7. Redefining our baby in more positive terms helped us focus on her exciting qualities rather than her inconvenient ones.

8. Hayden not only had higher needs, they lasted longer.

9. Our job was not to prevent frustrations in Hayden's life, but rather to help her learn how to manage them.

10. As difficult as it was to do when Hayden became irritable or irritating, we had to maintain a peaceful pressure.

11. Everything we did with and for Hayden from day one was discipline. We were teaching her tools to succeed in life.

12. As a mother, I realized I must take good care of myself so I can take better care of my baby.